The act of isolation


Level I: Of course.
Level II: Now.
And here I’ll elaborate. I really haven’t done anything in my life. So, you can read this blog assuming me to be a useless, unworthy guy, who went wrong somewhere in the correct lane. But if you do so, I’ll call you a moron. I’ll be talking about life, since that’s the only thing I do: I live.

Phases they come and go. In the end, the poet remains, with all his poetry. A poet is a divine fool or an essentially wise dude, and either way its the same. I’ll write some of my poetry later on. I have something called a disliking to anything that’s not like me, and mind you, being something like me is really easy and common. So, I have really few dislikes.

I don’t want anyone to read this. Its because after they read this they’ll have opinions and they might be different than me. So, I’ll hate them. But y’see, I’m an absolute sort of guy, I can know how you think and so, I won’t hate you that much, but again y’see, my indoctrinated principles and ideas and opinions will come in the way of my absolute thinking and I’ll aagain start to hate you.

I am really intelligent. And I hate guys who think and act and talk like they are intelligent too. And if you’re sharp or a sexist, then you must’ve seen how I use guys everywhere instead of person which symbolises that I’m avoiding any judgement on the other type of the human race. And its important too, ’cause I don’t really know them. I have studied them for quite sometime now but still haven’t been close enough to know them completely. So, I don’t know the way they think and thus I think they are morons, meant to be used just as objects of pleasure. Surely, I have found some of them worth talking to, so worth that I want to talk to them all the time. Again, I don’t know if its really them or is it my sexual urges that makes this happen. But really, the most intelligent person I’ve ever met is a girl.

Enough about me, lets talk about me. Its a Johnny Bravo line that I quoted. The use of I in the writings of mine is an extreme indicative of the type of person I’m. I’m spiritual. If you don’t get how I say this, I must say that I don’t have the skills to express what I mean. I judge a lot. A bit too much. But you can call it psychoanalysis and get away with it.

What level II is is the act of isolation. I am trying to separate myself from the surroundings in order to develop a very strong ego. Then will come the level III.

And do you want to know how it all began? I wasn’t ever like this till one day I got selected to the college of ‘my’ choice. Then, things began to change. I started to live away from home, a really important experience, and frankly speaking, I think its just the aftershocks. After an year into the college of doom, I had done nothing in a place where I had come to do nothing. I had come to college to have fun. I had had enough of regulations and a routine. It suited, the college, that is. It gave me real long stretches of time when I had nothing to do. So, I did what I did most of the time: I began to think. Slowly but really quickly, the changes came. And even before I knew, I was a different guy. Its really difficult for me to trace when exactly it happened, but a funny thing had happened and I just couldn’t help it. I still have three more years in this college of doom. Wonder where I’ll go. I might just become a poet.

Should I talk about girls now? I am a man goddamit, I should have a bit more libido. I mean, how could a guy write some 1000 words (I think I’ve wrote that much) with just one instance of any girl in it. Well, I’m not going to write about any girl. Instead, I’ll jot down the one thing that changed my life. And you know what, I’ll think of it as I write. So, I can contradict it anywhere and anytime I want to.

Let it be my dad’s transfer to Chandigarh. I had no friends there and I didn’t make any to play with in the evenings. And thus started the development of my very strong ego (which has been duly reinforced by some not-so-intelligent guys around me). It was ninth class and I now knew that sex, girls, adult jokes are taboo and should not be talked of at home. Girls now came into my life as something to be fucked rather than to be made friends with. This idea must’ve been disturbing, I had some really good girl-friends in the past and I had never thought of having something which shouldn’t be talked of at home with them. But y’see, I am good at emotions and their control. So, I controlled myself. Eventually, I sort of began to see how it was wiser to just fuck them. Then, I went into a phase of “I-want-to-be-something”, and did all that I could for where I am now. I was too serious about it, but it doesn’t mean that I tried too hard. It just happened and I landed here.

Bored. Blasted. Back again. Bang Again.

The Rhythm of Truth

Two fake plots
cannon shots
White snakes and corn flakes
Dirty volcanoes and soul aches
Slow the train, forget the grain
Endless is a lake, no time to entertain
The lake is a sheet, can’t ride no fleet
Tear the sheet, can’t find no feet
The fall is dark, there must be light
can see the mirror, strange delight
Oh, the sweetest music, great refrain
what are your ears, when they hear only vain?
What are your eyes, when they see only lies?
And the greatest visionary has closed his eyes
The child is alive, and he speaks bad
for the dog knows that all’s right
Yes, he’s glad.
Neither the stone nor the jungle
delight is not in the light
see the dark.

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